This week he decided I could handle a more rougher terrain, so we went a lot more out of town.
There were no paved roads. There was no flat ground. And there was no chatting (I was too focused on getting air to my lungs). The first fifteen minutes was going up a hill. I was ready to call it a successful bike ride when we got to the top, but little did I know that was just the beginning. The next part was going down, which sounds easy enough except there are rocks poking up everywhere that when you're zipping down at fast speeds, you feel very out of control when your bike gets thrown around, all the while trying to stay on the path. I was way out of my comfort zone.
We got to the bottom of that which I will admit, I walked my bike down most of it, preferring not to crack my head open. Now the trail began.
Willy served his mission in the Colorado mountains and all they did was bike, so he is very experienced, making jumps, riding up the sides of inclines, to name just a few. I followed along behind him as best I could trying to not appear that I was breathing like a jogging 60 year old chain smoker. Along with the heavy breathing, I was still not too sure on going over ridges of rocks, having never biked on anything more intense than a country dirt road, and would stop and walk my bike over the ones that looked especially scary. I was hot and I was tired, and it was very frustrating that I couldn't stay on my bike for longer than 10 seconds.
I could feel the verge of tears of frustration, wondering how I was ever going to last however long this trail actually was. I was not going to cry though because a very stubborn and prideful part of me was not going to let such a confident, highly attractive guy see me in a vulnerable way. This was going to be a challenge. I took a deep breath, said a quick prayer, drank a sip of water, changed my gears, and kept on pedaling.
The trail continued on, and little by little the bumps didn't seem as scary. I was able to follow right behind him. It actually started to become rather enjoyable. I found myself even veering towards more rocky parts just to add a little challenge. Next thing, I knew we had been at it for about an hour and had looped back to the top of the hill. It was, quite literally, all downhill from there.
I feel very accomplished. As noted from the post before, lately I have been doing a lot of thinking and leaning on things that maybe aren't giving me much of a challenge because I have a such a small perspective. Sometimes it seems the easier route is the better one. Sometimes a year and a half seems too long to wait. Sometimes I just want only a job to worry about. It's inevitable, I'm going to sound like an after school special, but I think I learned a good lesson on my bike ride today.
In a general conference talk I read by Robert D. Hales, called, "Behold, We Count Them Happy Which Endure," he says, "We cannot expect to learn endurance in our later years if we have developed the habit of quitting when things get difficult now... I testify that if we will be obedient and if we are diligent, our prayers will be answered, our problems will diminish, our fears will dissipate, light will come upon us, the darkness of despair will be dispersed, and we will be close to the Lord and feel of His love and of the comfort of the Holy Ghost. It is my prayer that we can find the faith, courage, and strength to endure." I gained a truth that by adjusting your gears, and help from our Heavenly Father, our trials are "but a small moment," (D&C 121:7) and in the end you'll come out better than you could have imagined, and anything that is worth getting, takes work.
Now if I could just keep reminding myself that.
